In my early 40’s I had a boyfriend who was much younger. He was a great guy, and we had lots of fun together. One night, we were at his apartment watching Shawshank Redemption. We were laying on the couch, him behind me, spooning. “GRACE”, I heard. I turned around to look at him. He looked down at me and smiled. I waited for him to speak. Time passed as we gazed into one anothers’ eyes. He finally kissed me on the forehead, and I, frowning a confused expression, turned back to the television. “SHOULDN’T YOU BE DOING THIS WITH SOMEONE YOU COULD HAVE MORE WITH?” “Well, yeah”, I thought. “But WHO IS THIS ?!
The following week, one of my NFL clients offered me tickets to Sunday’s game. I accepted, and excitedly called my boyfriend. We made plans to go to the game and meet up with friends. It was a one o’clock game so we would get to the stadium around 10:00 for tailgating. The night before the big game, I spend the night with him so we could get up early. We were “night owls” but I told him we have to go to bed early so we can get up early. Yes, ok, he says. About 12:00 am he said he couldn’t sleep. “Let’s go out and get into the jacuzzi. We won’t stay long. I promise.” Grabbing a six pack of beer to take with, I thought “uh oh”.. I won’t say what went on in that jacuzzie, but we got in around 4:00 am, and I set the alarm for 8. We had to be downtown at 10! “I will get up”, he promised.
The alarm went off in what seemed like minutes. I got up and made coffee. Get up, I said. We have to go. Ok, he said. I’m getting up. I got into the shower. When I got out he was still sleeping. I got some coffee and tried to wake him again.
Ok, I’m getting up.
I went to get dressed, thinking he would be in the shower. No!
I went to wake him again with coffee in hand.
This was my third attempt, and this time, he wouldn’t move … or even speak. He was gone.
Dammit, I thought. I’m older than you and your ass should have more energy than me!
As I laid on the couch, watching the game, thinking about how we could have been having a great time, there was the “Voice” .
“THIS IS A PREVIEW OF WHAT YOUR LIFE WITH HIM WOULD BE LIKE”
NO!!! I don’t want this life!!!!
That was it. I finished out the day with my cute young boyfriend, but I never returned his calls after that. Poor guy
I just STOPPED.
If I was out with my girlfriends an we happened to run into him, we would say hi, but in the bar we would never “converse”. My friends were like, “He’s following you around like a puppy” … By then, I had told them the story… STILL not realizing who that ‘Voice” was.
Does God care about our daily lives? Does God want more for us than we want for ourselves? ABSOLUTELY
It took me years to recognize ….
